So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
