We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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