I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize