Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
