He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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