im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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