I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
