I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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