He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize