can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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