hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
