Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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