Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
