why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
