I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
