so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
