i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
