News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
