he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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