you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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