Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We smell like vodka and hangover
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