Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
