i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
