I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
