I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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