I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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