He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
