I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
