And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
