i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
