Cold hands, warm shart.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
