I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
