3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
