Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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