Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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