Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
