Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
