At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I currently don't understand fingers.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
