Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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