I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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