I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
