So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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