He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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