on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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