we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
