Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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