Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
