why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
