ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
