I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
