was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
