WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
