My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
