I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
