But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize