so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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