dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
