Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize